Christmas Time in My Changing World

This Christmas, above all others, has been radically different. Now I am not unrealistic. I know that things do not always stay the same as they were when I was a child. However, everything that could seem to change this year did and I will be honest: I didn't like it. Well, most of it I didn't like. Let me explain.

First the obvious: Mom wasn't here. It just wasn't the same not having her here to spend Christmas Eve morning with. While Mom and I were not the closest people you will ever come across, your Mom is still your Mom and I never missed a Christmas Eve with my Mom. I loved to watch the way her face lit up at the sight of us opening our gifts. They were never much, nor did they have to be. That is not what Christmas is about. However, she gave what she could and really just wanted to see her children's faces as they opened their gifts. More than that though I enjoyed playing the new games with her that my youngest brother got. She was like a little kid when it came to her children and I loved her for that. I hate that I will never again get that experience.

There were other negative changes too. I missed Christmas with my Grandma on my Dad's side because she does hers on Christmas Day, and our plan as a married couple is to always be home on Christmas Morning. This way we already establish a routine for our future children. However, since we went "home" before Christmas this year I missed out on the extended family gathering. I also did not get the chance to see my Mom's side of the family. Normally her family's get together is on Christmas Eve. However, Grandma decided that she couldn't handle Christmas and everyone over this year so she canceled it. While I respect her decision and feelings, it was a "hard pill to swallow" as they say.

It wasn't all bad though. I had invited my oldest brother down to celebrate with my husband and I for Christmas as he was going to be alone on Christmas Day. (Our Dad went to Florida over Christmas) Not only was he able to come down, but he brought our youngest brother with him. We got to play Santa for him, putting out milk and cookies, making a gingerbread house, and just all around had a great time with them for 4 days. It was wonderful and helped me forget some of the sad changes that had occurred this year.

After writing this I realize that while things have changed, and some for the worse, that this Christmas is one to be thankful for. I missed my parents and the normal traditions that occurred, but some great memories were made this year. I was blessed in having my family down and getting to spend Christmas morning with them. So this year I will count my blessings instead of my sorrows.


He's excited about the gift

Can you tell they are brothers?

Lyrics For Thought

I heard this song on the radio this morning. I found the lyrics online. Its a song by Lee Brice. I will be honest, I have heard the song many times, but other than this song I do not know who the artist is. However, that is not the point. This song pretty much sums up how I feel I should be as a human being. How I should live my life and how I should treat others. I will admit I fail "like crazy" (sorry, I had to!). But when I heard this song it hit me like a ton of bricks. I love songs that do that. So, for your reading pleasure, the lyrics are included below. (But I recommend listing to the song on YouTube or some other site. Then again, if country isn't your thing, just read and think!) :-)

They called them crazy when they started out

Said, "Seventeen's too young to know what loves about"

They've been together fifty-eight years now

That's crazy

He brought home sixty-seven bucks a week

Bought a little 2 bedroom house on Maple Street

Where she blessed him with six more mouths to feed

Now that's crazy

Just ask him how he did it He'll say,

"Pull up a seat It'll only take a minute

To tell you everything"

Be a best friend, tell the truth

And overuse I love you

Go to work, do your best

Don't outsmart your commonsense

Never let your prayin' knees get lazy

And love like crazy

They called him crazy when he quit his job

Said them home computers, boy, they'll never take off

Well, he sold his one man shop to Microsoft

And they paid like crazy

Just ask him how he made it

He'll tell you faith and sweat

And the heart of a faithful woman

Who never let him forget

Be a best friend, tell the truth

And overuse I love you

Go to work, do your best

Don't outsmart your commonsense

Never let your prayin' knees get lazy

And love like crazy

Always treat your woman like a lady

Never get to old to call her baby

Never let your prayin' knees get lazy

And love like crazy

They called him crazy when they started out

They've been together fifty-eight years now

Ain't that crazy?

An Incomplete Birthday

Monday was my baby brother Marshall's 6th birthday. I wish I could have been there, but we live 2 1/2 hours away. However, we are planning a birthday party for this Sunday with him, so that makes me feel a little less guilty.

I hate that this birthday is going the way it has. Let me explain. Our mom passed away back in May. It was unexpected and she was very young (45). She had a heart attack caused by a blood clot. It was hard for me and my other brother, who is 24, to lose our mother this early in our lives. However, it was even harder on Marshall. To lose your mom at 6 is unfathomable. His world was turned upside down in more ways than one. (Most of the details are too private to discuss on here. Sorry.) The person who loved him most in this world is now gone. Our other brother sees him every Sunday because he lives in the same town. Marshall is surrounded by his family, but it’s not the same.

Today I got a message informing me that a family member took him some treats to school for his birthday. However, he wasn’t the happy little boy that a 6 year old should be, getting to experience his first birthday at school. He looks sad and empty. It was his first birthday without Mom. She should have been there. It breaks my heart. He is at the age where he should be untouchable from the heartbreak that this world can, and does, bring. His only care should be how long he will get away with playing until Mom tells him to stop for the night.

Not fair. I would gladly take his pain away if I could. I would take it all on in an instant. If I could change any part of his life for the better I would skipping a beat.

Not fair at all.

And so it begins......

I have wanted to do this for a while. No real reason, other than I hate writing in journals due to having to actually write something down (lazy I know). I LOVE keeping journals, just not writing in them. I figured this was a better way for me to keep a "journal" or sorts. I could type instead of write. Bonus!!!

Anyway, this is a way to share my memories and experiences, as well as a way for me to look back one day and think 'remember that time when...?' By no means do I feel equipped to give people advice on my experience. I am well aware that 28 years on this Earth, and only a year and a few months of marriage do not give me any level of expertise. However, I have loved listening to people tell their stories, if not for their learning value for their humor. Trust me; some of my stories will bring a lot of laughter! But I do believe that there is no harm in listening to other people's tales. You might think 'hey, I've been through that! Man I wish I had done it that way!' or 'ya, been there, done that. Let me tell you what you SHOULD have been doing.' Either way, welcome! If you find that there is nothing to be learned then just enjoy reading. :-)